it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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