JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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