I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
