this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
