Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
