You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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