One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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