I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
