do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
