You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
