Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
