Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he was CRYING into my vagina
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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