Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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