I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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