would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
