What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm just crazy horny about you
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
