You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
