Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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