a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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