Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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