Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Only a mothe r could love this liver
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
