do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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