just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
zippers are such a cool invention
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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