He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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