He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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