Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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