she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
