Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
