some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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