I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
