Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
