on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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