Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
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