i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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