remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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