I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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