If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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