Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
