Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
