So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
