Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
