watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
operation have a gay friend backfired
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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