And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
