I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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