i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
