i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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