It's Friday. Sex?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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