I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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