Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
