If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
