note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
