just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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